Healthy Kitchens Healthy Lives

End of life party

Most times we don’t get to attend our own end of life parties, because they’re called funerals :) Yesterday I did attend such a party, but the honoree was there. This is a man, almost 60 years-old, who has cancer, everywhere, and his doctor told him that he has perhaps 6 months to live.

My friend Ann, opened her heart and home and threw a party in his honor. In his work, he interacted with a lot of people all over the county, many of whom I knew. He sat there, next to the food, and folks stopped and chatted with him individually and in groups. He was always surrounded. If he had a moment alone he would look up and smile (I watched) at all the people who think so highly of him and want to be there to support him through this next journey.

I was able to have a wonderful one on one conversation with him. We spoke openly about cancer and death. Death as a portal, as he said. He told me that the best thing he did was quit his job nine years ago and go to work for himself. He had the freedom he always wanted. He didn’t speak of regrets at all actually.

As people left they went to him and told him quite openly how much he means to them and often times told him a story about something he said or did that was incredible for them. It really warmed his heart, it was obvious. How wonderful to know that so many people care for you and will continue to be there for you through the end of your life.

It was a beautiful day with beautiful people and warmth all around.


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2 Responses

  1. evelyn says

    I would like to throw an end of life party for my husband on his last birthday in this world, this July.I am not sure how to plan this, especially all the food and drinks for all (or none!) of the people who will be there. Is there a model to follow somewhere???
    greetings, Evelyn

    • Patty James says

      Hello Evelyn:
      My friend wrote a great book called Midwifing Death. It’s really wonderful. It’s by Leslene Della Madre and you can find it on Amazon.
      All the best to you and your husband.